The Jedster

Please check this out.

2010-02-12T21:31:00.002+08:00

I have just begun another blog.

You can check it out at tunaynalibrarian.blogspot.com

God bless.

143

2010-02-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

This is a freaky day.
I think I should've stayed in the boarding house instead of going to the Social Sciences section of the library.
Here goes:

The number of the tricycle I rode from Maginhawa to Philcoa : 143
The number of the tag given to me to deposit my bag in the Library: 143
The Call Number of the book I was borrowing (compiled by Nagel, Earnest): 143

This is such a bad sign.
There might be a conspiracy.

If I'm dead soon, I hope you know that 143 is a forensic clue.

Window

2010-02-06T21:50:00.003+08:00

Sitting in the dark corner of the car
Like this
Looking out the window
And staring at the city night lights
Rain pouring on the roof
Covering the windshield

I just can't help but reminisce
Relationships come and gone
And ask myself
If I deserve that which I
Emotionally treasure at the moment

The self-hatred comes back
It grips my soul
Like a straight jacket does to a mentally disturbed madjack

Kinda like when a snake wraps itself
Around its prey and suffocates it
Slowly crushing its bones
Before delivering the final blow
With its venomous fangs

I think I should stop looking out the friggin window.

Who I Am

2009-12-24T18:54:00.002+08:00

This is a paper that my comm3 professor required us to write.
Not everything written is necessarily true.
well,
I got nothing else to post so here goes:

Name: Cascolan jr., Gideon E. Date: December 6, 2009
Student number: 2009-78845

Self-Concept paper: Who am I?

I am an aged spirit trapped in a 18 year old body with not much motivation to excel in this short life and little hope of achieving the few ambitions which I have. I am a frustrated idealist and a hopeless romantic. I am a zealous christian but a doubter by nature. I help friends deal with problems while at the same time I am showered with dilemmas. I can't sing well. I'm not athletic. I suck at poetry. I'm not good at public speaking or social interaction. I eat fast and I eat a lot but I am lean and not far from the standard of state being malnourished.
I am very selfish. I give to the poor in secret but with the incentive that my Father in heaven will reward me. I share the gospel of Christ in hopes that a crown will be granted to me and to my spiritual children. I scratch my friends' backs and expect them to scratch mine in return. I go to school and perform well because my parents would enjoy that and they'll continue to give me my allowance which I need to survive. I take care of my spiritual life because I want to make sure that I will enjoy my afterlife, the true life. I serve those who I am subordinate to because I know that they have certain authority over my welfare. I believe everything I do or believe comes back to me.
I am also a living spiritual prodigy. Raised by parents who are both pastors, I never went through the usual “worldly” life and now suffer a condition I'd like to call the “Pastor's kid” syndrome. While other christians can boast of a point in their life where they were transformed from carnal men to christians, I can't. I don't even remember how many times or the exact date/s when I was spiritually born(not that I believe one can be spiritually born many times; I most certainly do not.)
As a child I was bullied. A lot. Persecution was more common than blessing back then. I fought back though. I wasn't great in academics. I was never a “straight-A's” student. I was, am, and always will be, a slacker. But at the young age of 3 or 4 however, my Mother already started teaching me how to read. I guess that had an effect somehow.
In church, I rarely joined sunday school. My parents usually made me join the main congregation. Looking back, this is probably why I would hold theological and political discussions with them at the young age of 9 or 10. I was also the youngest of the siblings. I never had authority over anyone in the family. Everyone could order me around. I wasn't raised to be an extrovert. My relatives and the few acquaintances that I did have when I was young referred to me as “tao-liit”. I sucked at games so I didn't bother trying. I never understood the games children used to play or the stupid versions of “friendship” they had back then.
My teenage years were better though. I was the anti-bully back in high-school. And reconciling broken friendships was a hobby. It was also here that I started to appreciate romance, although until now I am still against the teenager's brigade which is merely a poor duplicate of true love. I never did get busted. But I found it amusing to watch foolish youth go on and off and all the while cheating on each other. More than once, I've gotten into trouble that got physical everytime I found out that a guy was playing with girls. It was also at this time that I developed my love for music. By a set of accidental events, I was forced to self-study how to play the guitar. I haven't stopped since. These were the years that I developed my passion for human rights, justice, nationalism, and good governance. At the same time I developed my hatred for corruption, injustice, ruthlessness, political dynasties, hypocrisy, lawlessness, and downright immorality.
All these things, have resulted in the me which exists now. Except for a few certain things, I am a pragmatic; if something works, do it and if it doesn't, leave it. I am a pessimist; as good as something can be, there's always something bad about it(this is what you get when you raise and educate a child in a country like the Philippines.) I am an idealist; I have high hopes concerning principle and virtue. I am a paradigm-shifter; in any situation that I am in, I always try to see things from the perspective of those that I am with and base my decisions on that.
Lastly, I am a poser. I could claim that I am this or that or this or that and at the same time be the exact opposite. Perhaps it's because I seldom enjoy being praised and prefer to be humle or maybe I just enjoy the fact that “mystery” is attributed to me. Judging my actions and their roots is still the best way of knowing me, for I myself find “me” an enigma.*

*(Writing style is that of frenzy-writing a.k.a. nonstop writing whatever may pop out of my head)

CS

2009-11-13T09:23:00.000+08:00

....

Research Paper. Caution: Do no take seriously.

2009-10-17T18:33:00.004+08:00

This is my research paper for my english class. Been a long time since I posted. Well, here you go. By request of our professor, we(the students) are supposed to post
our creative works online . I do not at all consider this creative, but I got nothing else to post so here. Grab what you can get.

Gideon E. Cascolan Jr.
Ms. Maria Carmen Fernandez
English 1
1 October 2009

Electronic Voting: for better or for worse
On October 13, 2006 in the Philippines, after nearly a year of long and heated debates, the Senate voted 13-0 and approved the Automated Election Bill.(1) Less than 3 years later, on June 9, 2009 to be exact, the Comelec awarded a P7.2 billion contract to Smartmatic-Total Information Management after screening several bidders. The country is about to take a big step in electronic voting.(2) Debates continue despite the announcement of the final decision; some of these are centered in the type of electronic voting machine to be used and the process the votes will go thru after the machine registers them. In light of these facts, it is only proper that the citizens of the country be informed of what exactly it is that they are about to do this coming elections and of the gravity of the situation. This paper aims to explore the potentials of electronic voting and to gather information beyond what the mass media in the Philippines have so far granted. It aims to see the feasibility of electronic voting in the Philippines.

History of Electronic Voting
An electronic voting machine is defined as form of computer-mediated voting in which voters make their selections with the aid of a computer. (3)
The first electronic voting machine was invented as early as 1960 when the punch card system debuted. The punch card system employed a card (or cards) and a device about the size of a clipboard for recording votes. Any voter would punch holes in the cards (often with a supplied punch device) opposite of the candidate or ballot issue the voter chooses. The voter would then feed the vote into a computer vote-tabulating device found at the booth or precinct. The two common types of punch cards were the votomatic and datavote card. In the votomatic punch card, the locations at which holes may be punched to indicate votes are each assigned numbers; the number of the hole is the only information printed on the cards. In the datavote punch card, the name of the candidate or description of the issue choice is printed on the ballot next to the location of the hole to be punched. Even in the punch card system, complication already arose as the punching of the card would sometimes be vague or uncertain, making the counting difficult.
The next electronic voting machine invented is the Marksense(Optical Scan) wherein the choices are preprinted next to an empty shape(to be darkened by the voter) in the ballot card. It is then fed to a computer-tabulating device at the precinct. The device reads the votes thru the use of dark mark logic, where the computer selects the darkest mark within a given set as the correct choice. Even the Marksense, like traditional paper ballots were subject to electoral fraud, ballot stuffing and possible force voting thru intimidation or threat. Any attacker who could gain access to the computer configuration can easily change the system.
The latest generation of electronic voting machines is the Direct Recording Electronic. It is an electronic implementation of an old mechanical lever voting system. As with the lever machines, there is no ballot; the choices are visible to the voter on the front of the DRE machine. The voter enters choices into electronic storage by using a touch-screen, push buttons, or similar devices. The voter’s entry is stored in the machine via memory cartridge, diskette or smart card and added to the choices of other voters. To make it more efficient, the DRE is connected to a public network; electronic ballots or vote data are transferred from one polling place to another thru internet or telephone or wireless connection.(4)
Potentials of Electronic Voting
{For the sake of maximization of this research, from hereon in this paper, the term “electronic voting” will be referring to the said public network Public OMR(similar to public DRE but using Marksense Optical Scan instead which has a ballot card) which is the type of electronic voting that will be used in the 2010 automated elections in the Philippines.}

Electronic voting has been said to have the following advantages:

Ease of Counting

Ease of Voting

Fraud Prevention

Cost Reduction

Status

Ease of Counting
Counting and tabulating votes are said to be easier in electronic voting machines and more accurate. It is less time consuming, less error prone, and supposedly less costly. There is no question that electronic voting is faster than manual voting, but its accuracy, cost, and vulnerability are definitely in question. Voting machines can finish the voting process in as fast as a day. However, the year 2000 elections of the USA in New York City which used voting machines cost $14.7 million for a mere 4,200 voting machines; despite the costs, 5% of the votes registered by the machines were subjected to errors.

Ease of Voting
Voter confusion is a common problem among illiterate and elderly voters. Some manual ballots are found to be spoiled or blank and therefore rejected. Electronic voting is claimed as able to make voting easier and simpler thru voter interface and the like. It has been proven that voting machines really can help the blind and disabled in voting. But while this may prevent spoiled or blank ballots, this will still lead to further confusion; the number of ballots that do not cast the intended choice might increase.

Fraud Prevention
Electoral authorities claim that DRE or other voting technologies can combat or even prevent fraud. However, election officials do not offer any compelling basis for these expansive claims, and no evidence exists for claims that DRE machines make an appreciable difference in the incidence of electoral fraud. More importantly, as will be stated in this paper, the use of DRE technology in fact creates dangerous new possibilities for fraud or allegations of fraud. Ultimately, combating fraud cannot be done by changing the mediums of voting but by a sincere change of heart on the part of the people involved in the elections.

Cost Reduction
It is often claimed that electronic voting technology reduces the cost of election administration. Such claims seem credible on their face, as we are accustomed to information technology measures that increase efficiency and thus reduce cost in a range of business and government activities. The cost arguments made for DRE technologies all rely on long-term projections, though, as the initial investment costs are recouped by lower ballot printing, transportation and staff-training costs. Despite this, there are no studies to confirm these projections. Repair and replacement of DRE equipment, warehousing of DRE equipment in secure and climate controlled facilities, salaries for skilled maintenance workers and trainers, and other continuing costs may well make DRE technologies less cost effective than people claim it to be. If voter verified paper records are produced, the costs of paper, toner, printer maintenance, and transportation must also be factored in.

Status
Many experienced technical assistance providers fear that election technology, including DRE systems, are deployed more to assert a country’s (or electoral authority’s) modernity than in response to any specific need. According to elections expert Rafael López-Pintor, “It has become a status symbol for many organizations and countries.”(5) This may become more prevalent as the U.S. adoption of DRE technologies is highlighted by the media, and as important developing nations, such as Brazil, Philippines and India, receive attention for their DRE technologies.

Failures of Electronic Voting
Most people have assumed that electronic voting machines will perform better than manual paper ballots and punch card machines which they will replace but research done by Michael D. Byrne, an Associate Professor of Psychology at Rice University, concludes that performance on DREs in terms of efficiency and effectiveness is not better than with older methods, and that due to the high rate of postcompletion errors it may actually be notably worse.(6) Many elections in Brazil, the United States of America and India have shown the Electronic Voting Machine at work and have so far failed to live up to positive claims. Matthew Bishop, a professor of Computer Science at the University of California wrote in an article that voting machines do not meet the expectations for correctness, availability, accessibility, and security. The machine vendors have flawed standards for the system designs.(7)
A Professor Emeritus of Computer Science and Electrical Engineering at Columbia University wrote that electronic voting is vulnerable to all the corruption techniques used in traditional elections based on manual operations and that besides this, there is an open-ended collection of electronic cheating methods that can be put to use by even just a relatively small number of people.(8) Edward Felten, Professor of Computer Science and Public Affairs at Princeton University, says that DREs are nearly the same as desktop PCs. Both have the same security and reliability problems; they suffer from bugs, crashes, malicious software, and data tampering. He reports that despite years of research and investment, PCs remain vulnerable to the same problems, so it is doubtful that DRE vendors will be able to overcome them.(9) Verified Voting Foundation, a voters’ rights advocacy, states group in its website FAQs that even a beginning programmer can write a code that displays votes one way on a screen, records them another way, and tallies them yet another way. These can happen even when voting machines have been thoroughly inspected and tested. Electronic Voting Machine systems experienced problems already in the 2002 elections, and this is clearly only the tip of the iceberg. (10)
The efficiency, accuracy, security and effectiveness of Electronic Voting Machines are yet to be seen in action. The words of election officers and machine vendors concerning the matter have not been fulfilled.

The 2010 Philippine Automated Elections
The 2010 Elections is fast approaching. The decision has been made and the contracts have been finalized. The people of the nation have been notified thru newspapers that the elections will be automated.
A memorandum of a petition filed by lawyers against the COMELEC’s automation of elections states several unheard of facts about the process of automating the elections. For one, an unconstitutional act was done by the COMELEC when they granted control of the technical aspects of the elections to SMARTMATIC instead of the Information Technology Department of the COMELEC. Also, the COMELEC was unconstitutional in granting full supervision of the electoral process to SMARTMATIC as this goes against the Filipino-Foreign 60-40 equity ceiling and the anti-dummy law. The corporation to head the automation, SMARTMATIC, is a foreign corporation, not based in the Philippines. In addition to this, SMARTMATIC did not at all fit the bidding requirements set by the COMELEC. (11) Lastly, the electronic voting system that is about to be implemented does not only reduce but decrease the transparency during elections.
But beyond the legal complications, the machines have not shown to be any better than the machines used in the controversial 2000 elections in the United States of America. Seeing how the previous manual elections in the Philippines have not been fully honest, there is serious doubt that automated elections will be any different from previous traditional elections. The pilot testing of the electronic machines in ARMM and the positive news reports give little comfort. We are continually plagued by the same questions; will electronic voting machines give the Philippines more accurate and honest elections? Will the costs such as training, reduction of transparency, constitutional compromise, and adaptation be worth the benefits? Perhaps we shall never be sure until the 2010 elections.

Conclusion
Electronic Voting is not and perhaps never will be perfect. Voting machines without paper trails or transparency will not give democratic elections. Electronic Voting machines have failed to live up to claims that they are efficient, accurate, effective, simpler, and less expensive. The question is not whether we can eliminate these problems – we cannot – but how we will cope with them. Unlike ordinary desktop computers, e-voting systems are entrusted with the most important process of democracy – collecting and counting votes – and must perform that process accurately, reliably, accessibly, and securely. Trust in election outcomes is necessary for the electoral system to work, but the political system often does not lend itself easily to trusting relationships. Voting technologies must help to build this trust. Today’s e-voting infrastructure is not up to the task, but tomorrow’s can be.

Works Cited
(1)Philippine News Service “Automated Election Bill Gets Nod” Philippines Today. 14 October 2006, n.p. 1 October 2009
“the Senate yesterday voted 13-0 and approved the Automated Election Bill, shortly before adjourning for a three-week break.”
(2)Center for People Empowerment in Governance (CenPEG) “Comelec’s Automation to Worsen Election Fraud – Watchdog.” Pinoy Press. 27 March 2009, Pinoy Press. 1 October 2009.
Website: http://www.pinoypress.net/2009/03/27/comelecs-automation-to-worsen-election-fraud-watchdog/

“COMELEC grants P7.2 billion to SMARTMATIC…”
(3)"electronic voting." Encyclopædia Britannica. 2009. Encyclopædia Britannica Online. 01 Oct. 2009 .
“computer-mediated voting in which voters make their selections with the aid of a computer”
(4) Bellis, Mary. “The History of Voting Machines” About.com: Inventors. November 1998, New York Times Company. 1 October 2009
Website: inventors.about.com/library/weekly/aa111300b.htm
“Punchcards are votomatic or datavote….Marksense had failures…..DREs are connected to a network….”
(5) López-Pintor, Rafael, “Comparative Costs and Cost Management Case Studies Report” 2006. Getting to the CORE: A Global Survey of Registration and Elections (UNDP/IFES, 2006), p. 44. 1 October 2009. Print.
““It has become a status symbol for many organizations and countries.”

(6) Byrne, Michael D. PhD “Electronic Voting Machines versus Traditional Methods: Improved Preference, Similar Performance" 10 April 2008. HI 2008 Proceedings - Measuring, Business, and Voting. 1 October 2009
“performance on DREs in terms of efficiency and effectiveness is not better than with more traditional methods, and due to the high rate of postcompletion errors it may actually be notably worse.”
(7) Bishop, Matthew PhD. “Fixed Federal E-Voting Standards” March 2007, Communications of the ACM. October 1, 2009
“voting machines do not meet reasonable expectations for correctness, availability, accessibility, and security.”
(8) Unger, Stephen PhD. “E-Voting: Big Risks for Small Gains” 5 February 2007, Ends and Means blog. October 1, 2009.
Website: http://www1.cs.columbia.edu/~unger/articles/e-voting1-11-07.html
“E-voting is vulnerable to all the corruption techniques associated with traditional elections based on strictly manual operations. In addition, there is an open-ended collection of e-cheating methods”

(9) Felten, Edward PhD “Security Analysis of the Diebold AccuVote-TS Voting Machine” August 2007, Proceedings of the USENIX Workshop on Accurate Electronic Voting Technology. 1 October 2009.
“REs have much in common with desktop PCs. Both suffer from many of the same security and reliability problems, including bugs, crashes, malicious software, and data tampering.”
(10) Verified Voting Foundation “Frequently Asked Questions”. n.d. 1 October 2009
Website: http://www.verifiedvotingfoundation.org/search.php
“…a beginning programmer can write code that displays votes one way on a screen, records them another way, and tallies them yet another way. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including software and hardware errors, or 'hacks' installed into the voting machines.”
(11) Roque and Butuyan Law Offices. “G.R. No. 188456” 13 August 2009, THE HON. SOLICITOR GENERAL, DB LAW PARTNERSHIP, ACCRA LAW OFFICES. October 5, 2009. Web Document.

“granted control of the technical aspects of the elections to SMARTMATIC instead of the Information Technology Department … granting full supervision of the electoral process to SMARTMATIC as this goes against the Filipino-Foreign 60-40 equity ceiling and the anti-dummy law… SMARTMATIC, is a foreign corporation, not based in the Philippines... did not at all fit the bidding requirements set by the COMELEC.”

hmmmmmmmm

2009-08-01T22:32:00.002+08:00

ano bago?

friends. woohoo. rumami.

ministry. meron na. haha.

gf? wala. Xp

org? apps pa lang me. haha

sakit? wala na. ulet.

....

hmm...

Ah oo. mei facebook na ako! haha

Math long exam, Chicken! woohoo

uh...

well...

that's it.

hehe

Praise the Lord! :D

"You can never can tell"
-some pinoy
XD

History

2009-07-18T19:47:00.001+08:00

History-Lies agreed upon by everyone.

Dreams

2009-06-30T18:14:00.002+08:00

This is gonna be weird.

For the first time, I am actually gonna treat this blog like a diary.

Ok, here goes:

Approximately 10 months ago before i had completely adapted to WMSU, i had a chain of strange dreams.

Ranging from the simple getting hit by a car dream to the bizarre armageddon dreams, these death nightmares had one thing in common. At the end of each, I would see this dark-skinned girl with long hair. Freaky. I know.

Even stranger is the fact that I have never ever before for the love of me seen this girl. Except in my dreams.

Now this is where it becomes "twilight zone"-ish.

When I had just begun to practice Muay Thai in the grandstand, one wednesday(or friday was it?), while innocently jogging in the oval, SSDD, i catch a glimpse of a face sitting upon the bleachers.

I could not believe it.
Heck no.
The girl from the nightmares/dreams i have been having was right there, having PE class. Somebody punch me, i must be dreaming again(my sparring partner really did punch me later on that day).

(ever since i saw her in real life, i have never dreamed of her again.

I wanted to confront her. Clarify the meaning of the dreams. I searched the web, the library, my mom's collection, all to find what the dreams would mean. Nothing fit my situation.

A semester passed, then another event.
The girl turns out to be a POL Sci student in WMSU, a close friend of a um well enemy/hater of mine in class. She's an overflow to my Literature class.

To make a long story short, i am now texting her. Regularly. We text a lot. She teaches me japanese a bit.

I'll end the post with this:

Monday afternoon, she texts me.
She says she dreamed of me.
Mingling at some airport.
Just me and her.
DUde.

hahahaha

2009-06-20T12:33:00.000+08:00

Funny stuff

English Booboos
>
>
> > "The more the many-er."
> > "It's a no-win-win situation."
> > "Burn the bridge when you get there."
> > "Anulled and void."
> > "Mute and academic."
> > "C'mon let's join us!"
> > "If worse comes to shove."
> > "Are you joking my leg?"
> > "It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore."
> > "What are friends are for?"
> > "You can never can tell."
> > "Well well well. Look do we have here!"
> > "Let's give them a big hand of applause."
> > "Been there, been that."
> > "Forget it about it."
> > "Give him the benefit of the daw."
> > "It's a blessing in the sky."
> > "Right there and right then."
> > "Where'd you came from?"
> > "Take things first at a time."
> > "You're barking at the wrong dog."
> > "You want to have your cake and bake it too."
> > "First and for all."
> > "Now and there."
> > "I'm only human nature."
> > "The sky's the langit."
> > "That's what I'm talking about it."
> > "One of these days is not like the other."
> > "So far, so good, so far."
> > "Time is of the elements."
> > "In the wink of an eye."
> > "The feeling is actual."
> > "For all intense and purposes."
> > "I ran into some errands."
> > "Hi. I'm ________, what's yours?"
> > "What is the world is coming to?"
> > "What is the next that is?"
> > "Get the most of both worlds."
> > "Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila."
> > "Whatever you say so."
> > "Base-to-base casis."
> > "My answers have been prayered."
> > (with feelings!) "Please me alone!"
> > 'It's as brand as new."
> > "So... what's a beautiful girl like you?...."
> > "I can't take it anymore of this!"
> > "Are you sure ka na ba?"
> > "Can't you just cut me some slacks?"
> > "what's your next class before this?"
> > "nothing in this world is perfect except the word 'change' "
> > "im very iterated!" (translation : galit sya!)
> > "can u repeat that for the second time around once more from the
top?
> "(ulitin
> > natin hanggang
> > mamatay
> > tayo.)
> > "my dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs!" translation : daming
> > pasalubong ng tatay ko.
> > "standard & chartered bank"
> > "im sorry, my boss just passed away. " (translation: kakadaan lang
ng
> > boss nya.)
> > "hello, my boss is out of town, would you like to wait?"
> > "what happened after the erection of mayon volcano?"
> > "don't touch me not!"
> > "hello,.. for a while, please hang yourself..."
> > " its spilled milk under the bridge"
> > "dont change anything! keep it at ease."
> > "hello mcdo, magiinquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal?
(yung
> > pangbatang pagkain)"
> > "you! youre not a boy anymore! youre a man anymore!"
> > "out of fit ako these days e... (translation : d sya
nakakapagexercise)"
> > "I couldn't care a damn!"
> >

13 malambing

2009-06-20T11:53:00.003+08:00

13 malambing...not some cute story about teenagers. It's the address of where I'm staying.

Located in philcoa, 2 rides from UP, unless im in the mood to walk for 20 mins, which is usually the case.

I currently live with my guitar, and this room mate, i just moved in to the new room.

Feipe the JW recently accepted the gift, my informants tell me(thanks guys, it wouldn't have happened without you) .

UP is easier to navigate than as i expected. haha. No place too big for a walker like me. Plus It's actually an advantage that my college(SLIS) is located somewhat in the middle of the university, or is it just me who feels that? anyway, the profs are really really good. And hardcore too. The homework is heavy. Talk about first week of class, ugh. But it wouldn't be too heavy if i just retained my old attitude concerning academics. Gotta aim for the tops now. Haha, I'm just scared that if i get grades too high, my siblings might accuse me of being an adopted child! (haha, biro lang yo). Got some friends already, haha, very useful to have around. And to the guys who are checking my blog to see the ehem UPDATE you really wanna hear, ok, fine, you're right, the women are great. Big deal? I'm not gonna go get their numbers for you, i'm bustin my ass off here, gimme a break.

Yo may patintero games nga pala this sunday, 3:30, sunken garden, punta kayo kung pwede, hehe. Ininvite ako ni Lei.

I got PE 1, its lecture tsk, and no i have not yet checked out the parkour club. Wait up.

My math teacher is cool. He doesnt do lecture, not until we've given the lesson a shot ourselves, not unless we've tried to learn it on our own. When that doesnt work, well, hehe, that's when we discuss the hard stuff in the room. His technique is cool. Btw, parang si Er man yun kapayat at pag mag hand signs. HAHA. biro lang er. God bless.

May Praise and Worship Practice pa ako this 6 pm. Hehe. Dun sa bliss. hmm.. gotta follow sched.

Hm... i really should change that picture.. its out of date.. the one at the top right,.... i think i will. hehe

Man, life is pretty hard. Hehe. Gotta adapt and improve. I'm not used to aiming for the top.

Til again, Jya.

Rock out

2009-05-14T15:12:00.004+08:00

A lot has happened since the last update...
lets see...

Im in manila now.
I have taken 2 exams for 2 different courses in UP namely Arts studies and Creative Writing.
I have affirmation that I've passed one interview.
I haven't slept more than 6 hours in one night since i got here.
I met up with an old friend(Leirrand).
I'm working on my admission to Library Science..

That's just about it
Its been 3 weeks now.

Oh yeah.. by the way, we went to a comedy bar.
The comedians were sodomites(cough) i mean homos (cough) no i mean transgendered.
And ethel booba was there.
I was just joining the in laws. They're alright. Pretty cool actually.

and uh, to those reading this, i miss you. you know who you are.
say hi to the rest of the guys for me, aight? hehe

PS

Wow. People in youtube are really haters. You cant rock online without someone trying to throw a C4 at you these days. hehe. let em hate all they want. its their clocks that are tickin.

Nice poem:

On a mountain high
dig a hole again
then I dream and fly away
but without you

On my knees and pray
torn apart again
I can count the reasons
but maybe the mind
deceives

There’s a show in here
the things we can’t express
so come inside
is it time to start moving on?
time to believe?

See the red rain here
the things we can’t express
so give me my sword
oh it will be better when it’s done

my eyes don’t deceive
give me my sword

I can hear your voice
from the dark again
everything is underway
but without you

at the break of day
feeling whole again
I’ve found lots of reasons
now here’s one I can
believe in

There’s show in here
the sound of my distress
a rising tide
well it might be better in the sun
time to believe?

See the red rain here
the things we can’t express
so give me my sword
oh it will be better when it’s done
my eyes don’t deceive

There’s a show in here
the things we can’t express
so come inside
oh it’s time to start moving on
time to believe
give me my sword

Nicer poem:(my grampa made it up b4 i was born and b4 he was dead)

Ang Utot
Pag nagkamali
Tai

hehe. see ya around.

yo bro, dali, inform agad.

2009-03-29T17:27:00.002+08:00

kuya, ala na time. nauubos na. yo. please gimme a call on monday around 10am or anytime after 10am. im working on my honorable dismissal already. i have 4 classcards left. i'll be done with these by wednesday. but when im done i dunno whats next. nid instructions.

im giving up on th jehovah's witness thing. decided to just give her a gift, a book, and my research paper on the reliability of the watchtower teaching. if she burns it or wat watever. God's will be done. haha

Yo yo yo. um. right.. UP ata.. woohoo

2009-03-04T20:09:00.004+08:00

My chance to go to UP increased recently. It's because I won the English Fest Essay Writing Contest. That's really gonna boost my grade. And my spiritual life is great too.

I've won 3 souls this School Year
I think God told me who to target recently(He told me to go for the Jehovah's Witness classmate)
I have 2 more friends who are close to accepting Christ.

wahaha. I also want to be sure nga pala if what God's will is for me. Zambo or Manila?
Prayer request please. Tnx.

Kayo kuy, musta man?

Yo yo yo. um. right.. UP ata.. woohoo

2009-03-04T20:09:00.001+08:00

3 new choices

2009-01-26T16:42:00.002+08:00

ok. d2 na ang choices. ahehe:

1. Stay here, finish AB ENG then Law or Edu. (pwede ba pag grad ko d2 sa wmsu mag take ako sa UP ng law?)

2. Get that 1.75 average and go to UP.

3. PMA. which i have not started with even one bit.

so.... anu ba? far as i know, ung #1 ang pinakaprobable since mababa ang grades ko(#2) at mababa ang height at health ko(#3).

Muay thai

2008-12-03T18:52:00.002+08:00

I quit. I needed the time for my studies. I was going home too late every night. hehe. gusto ko na bumalik pero makahuya na kasi 1 month na ako absent. masakit rin kasi sa bulsa ang bayad. besides. i was doing it mostly dahil it made me happy despite being lonely. pero di na ako lonely yo. wahaha

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-11-29T22:15:00.001+08:00

alam na ni inay may nobya ako walang hiya tlga buti na lang di ako nabukol. sana di magsabi kay itay. nuh? kuya nuh? agree right? kasi deadz ako kung si itay na. tsk tsk tsk.

Scary nov 1

2008-11-07T11:06:00.002+08:00

Nov 1, saturday night, 8 pm, CR. The light flickered continuously for 3 mins. I didnt move. I just watched. And i felt the cold travel from my head hair to my toes in a step by step manner. I walked briskly to the living room. The cold would leave me. pretty scary.

SECOND SEM

2008-10-26T16:51:00.000+08:00

WALA LANG. SECOND SEM NA PIPZ. IM AIMING FOR 1.5 or better na. as in. woo. UP here i might come.

Answer to prayer

2008-09-18T18:44:00.000+08:00

Praise the Lord! My relationship has bloomed since that saturday.. Its awesome.

And more importantly. I've finally told her bout Jesus. She's open. Were going to church together soon. This is so unbelievable. I know what people say about first relationships but is it so impossible for me to get it right at the first try? This... is perfect.

Last saturday(september 6)

2008-09-08T14:41:00.001+08:00

That saturday has got to be just about the best saturday i have had so far. The best quality time i have ever spent with anyone. I will never trade it for any other precious object. never.

Whew

2008-08-24T17:01:00.002+08:00

Another week with a holiday monday. Kinda like last week. Hehe. Missed gym for 4 days now. Im kinda not in the mood. But I will go tomorrow. Maybe.

Had a drama session last night. Hard to believe but i actually found it to my liking. Been wanting to pour out that stuff 3 months ago. Never got to the point... but we'll talk about it some other time.

School's good. Not much to talk about. Im pretty sure i flunked that Fil 101 midterm. Oh man. Everything was going great. Every subject was easy except Filipino. I may be nationalistic but that doesnt mean im good at the language.

Got cough and colds. Its irritating. But its alright. Its not my worst problem right now. My friend requested me to help out tomorrow with his gf's band. Im supposed to teach to girls how to play the guitar and the bass respectively. Hope i dont
screw up and accidentally make em fall for me. JOKE. but my girl might suspect of something. and i dont want that. ugh. its all good. ive been blessed a lot. oh yeah. btw. i had abs on wednesday night. but after dinner it was gone. wahaha. i swear. til next time.

Bro!

2008-08-10T12:43:00.001+08:00

kuya! kung ako ang i-assign ng coach namin, baka may fight ako sa manila! wahaha. kita tayo!! sa mall daw ata. yeehee. talo or panalo kuya libre wham ha!

UPDATE!!!! HOliDay!!!

2008-07-30T10:29:00.002+08:00

Wow. How are things? Well, they're going great. School's great as usual. So many blessings. I can hardly believe it. So many friends. I cant last 10 mins in wmsu without saying hi to a passerby. Thats awkward. Intrams are coming up this august or september. I may have a fight(in muay thai i mean). Its gonna be cool. They say experience is the best teacher. Making friends with this masscom girl(its nothin realy). Mid terms are closing in soon. Gotta be ready.

But for today im just gonna forget about that. I got a date today. One of those rare times of the year when you've got no class and your girl decides to spend the day alone with you. Haha. Then i got practice at 4 so all in all i'm just gonna spend 2 or 3 hours with her. Wahahaha. Talk about exaggeration.

There's this one person who cant get themselves to believe i'm a real person. That i exist. I dont blame em though. Whats the chance of meeting some guy who practices muay thai, is a devout protestant, not bad in school, a musician, band member, poet, (ugh this is like bragging, screw this), etc. He thinks that when i make a statement its a joke because he finds it hard to believe. Dude. BELIEVE IT. IM REAL.

Ok. on with the day then. Got a date to attend. A practice session to enjoy. Ahehe.

BY THE WAY!!!!!!!!!

Have i mentioned some of the best buds i have are into different martial arts? Hahaha. Were like some kind of tekken group you know. Like an arcade game or something. Zealot(me) does muay thai. Wagsy does judo. Osiris does pencak silat. D'great does tae kwon do. Whahaahaha. its fun. When trouble comes... man... the fight show will be so spectacular. Hahahaha. Were not lookin for trouble though. It'll come when it comes.

MUay

2008-07-04T11:05:00.003+08:00

yo.. the muay thai is going great.. i love it man. school's pretty good too. doin well in my studies(not really excellent but great compared to average). my girl's fine. hopefully. more fit. made a bet with a friend that i'm gonna be gigantic in 3 months(body built due to muay thai and taller coz of milk and cherifer). hahahaha. we'll see. if i win....

BURGER ! BURGER !

hahaha

anyway. new song i like is when you're gone by bryan adams and melanie c. i dig it. thought it was some alternative band or something when i first heard it. like fastball or something.

some gurl in class is botherin me all the time. ugh. watdidIdo!?!?!?!?

cool buds in class. theres this one guy who rides a bike. haha. gave me a ride last week.

I want a tv so i can watch news and watch funny stuff on jack!!

I NEED a pc so i can research!!!

dad. bring em back home. i need em.

all in all. Ive been blessed a lot. Praise the lord. Lots and lots of new friends(so many that i forget some of their names).

I am so friggin happy!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-24T10:31:00.002+08:00

Man! this is so satisfying!(muay)
sure...
the training can be rough depending on the instructor...
but...
still..
its really good
the shoulders are broadening man!( i did not expect this)
(/muay)

plus i got great classmates...
theyre really cool
friendly
great
some are even extra pretty.
hahaha
kidding.

Not Exactly a Fresh Start

2008-06-08T18:09:00.003+08:00

Classes are gonna start soon. And I've got a new set of goals. Courtesy of my parents telling me to finish my ab english. Which might be just another request from them but i see requests as commands and besides, i'd go with anyone's decision in matters like this. As long as its not mine. Dude. Its education. Cmon. How good could my choice be? Compared to other people's? ahehe.

Exactly.

Havent seen some people in a while. Hope to see em soon in campus.

Lets see....
I got my notebook,
some yellow pad paper i stole,
a cool bag(the long strap really makes it cool),
2 pens(i stole em too),
my sked(i promise i'll make a proper one on tuesday, ok?),
and my new project. ahehe. i like it.

So i got a project... not exactly related to school, but its a project.
Its got to do with me.

I still feel sick man. Not something worth telling anyone really. I mean its just this sick feeling like when you got a fever except ur not really hot. And no i aint telling no one coz its been like this before summer vacation came and it still is. I think it'll fade away when july comes. Its a summer thing. Or is it? pray for me aight?

May i mention its still hard to sleep? Whats with this? I AM EXHAUSTED, I DO WANT TO SLEEP, IT IS LATE, AND YES I AM LYING IN THE BED IN SLEEPING POSITION. But the sleep doesnt come. It only comes when i've spent around three to four hours lying in bed and even when it comes its very short, i sleep around 5-6 hours only. Dont ask me, im not doing this, its my body. Its really freaky.

Like I sleep 6 hours right?

well
i start at 10 and i wake up at
4!

what is with that!??!?!
CMON!! 4?!?! why wake up at that time!?!
i dont need to pee
there's no light to wake me
no noise
my body
like just
BUZZZZZ
u know like ym?
And its irritating me.

Cmon body.
Let me sleep 8 hrs again.

So all in all i'm a very very sick guy. Hey. Aint stoppin me right? ahahaha.

Anyway OPERATION KUEN KRU begins tommorow.
Also the last time im gonna play dota.

I wonder if my girl misses me even a bit? haha. its funny. i always have to wonder. i never do get to KNOW. she never tells. that applies to everything btw. never tells. strange.

Anyway isang kaibigan ko sabi niya gusto niya daw sabihin to sa gurl nya o:
(kung ganyan ka magtrato sakin, ok, watevr, pero sige ka kung habolin ako ng chix kasalanan mo kasi di mo pinapakita na may relationship tayo eh so akala nila single me, bahala ka, wahahaha, and of course i-aasumme ko na ganun ang gusto mo na relationship so trato mo sakin ibabalik ko lang sayo, u know? returning the favor? tae, wag ka umiyak! yan ang di patas dito eh! ikaw pde umiyak ako hinde! )

loko ya le.

Anyway

I just established a fact today when i walked from town to the grandstand then back to town.

I like walking.

WAHAHAHAHa.

What else....
hmm...

I'm starting to recall my being a fan of Matchbox 20. theyre starting to sound great to me again.

Thats just about it.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

2008-05-07T23:44:00.001+08:00

This is great. I get to keep my girl and my dreams at the same time. WAHAHAHA! perpekto. ...

Bad trip man tong gym P3300 ba naman ang 12 sessions... ay na. Pag may trabaho na lang kaya....

Di naman niya to binabasa so i think safe to say ...

the chicks here are great...

....

joke lang. anu ka ba.

Ahaha

2008-04-30T23:44:00.001+08:00

This is funny. This is really funny. Its absolutely over. Hahahaha. I mean like one moment im glad then poof! its over. Saddest part is, i didnt do anything. I just watched it happen. Matter of fact, i even encouraged it a bit. Man... these chest pains really hurt... crap... it was happening right in front of me and i just watched it happen. What is wrong with me?!?! I've think I've totally lost it. I want to continue but I'm a coward. That's the fact I guess. I want to go on but I'm afraid that it'll just end in heartache so... i just flow with it I guess... i mean what if i find out sooner or later that i'm being cheated??!?! what will i do then?!? sooner or later you'll get lonely and replace me. I dont wanna take the chance. I'm not willing to trust. Not willing to hold on. I'm a coward.

My one regret, is that i did not spend enough time with you. I wasted a lot of pointless moments.I've sat and just stared when i could have spoken.

I asked you an important question and I insensitively pretended that I would be happy with whatever answer. I lied. I want to continue. We could work this out you know. If you're willing... if only you're willing.

Remember the day i lost that something? I just gained it again. Singleness.

Change of plans

2008-04-21T00:58:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha... goodbye cebu plan. haha.. seems like everything is going to work out great. Although the plan did turn from cebu to manila i guess its not so bad. Its for the best after all. My parents want only the best for me and besides that the least i could do for them after they brought me to this world would be being obedient. They say it and i do it. I think i'll go drink a coke now.

lost

2008-03-06T01:42:00.001+08:00

I lost something important today. I can never gain it again. Man. Crazy thing is... i dont feel like anything happened... haha.... its like nothing happened...strange...

The little prince and his rose

2008-03-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

This is an excerpt from a story i just read recently called The Little Prince,

I hope u enjoy:

(The little prince returns to a garden of roses which he already passed thru once)

"You are not at all like my rose", he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend and now he is unique in all the world."

"You are beautiful, but you are empty", he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses....(bla bla bla).. because it is she that i have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."

i dont really dig marine eng so... i might be staying.

Yo, cebu, here i come.

2008-02-29T21:30:00.001+08:00

To all my friends:

There's been a change of plans and now i have to go to cebu. Its strange how life changes in one phonecall. My mom just called one night and told me recently that there's a scholarship waiting for me in cebu at some university for Marine Engineering.. and i dont even like marine engineering... But, i owe my mom my everything and i got no choice but to do my best in this. There's this test i'll have to take and an interview which i have to pass. And unfortunately, i cant give it any less than my best which is hopefully not enough so that i get to stay here... the chances of which will be, i dunno... So, i'm leaving. That's just about the main message of this whole thing. Time to leave behind all the friends that i love for something i'm not even interested in... it seems history repeats itself..hehe... goodbye plan for wmsu... goodbye band... goodbye all my good buds here... u guys always take care, aight??goodbye to everyone...

But i will be back. Soon. This aint no goodbye. This is just. I dunno. BRB?

and to (ehem). im so sorry.

Is 5 years long?

Love

2008-02-23T13:06:00.000+08:00

I CORINTHIANS 13:1-13

1 Though i speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, i have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind: Love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

5 Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

6 Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in partm but then I shall know just as i also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

back to you (my cover)

2008-02-22T19:26:00.001+08:00

This is me in youtube.